Dr.
Casa is not your normal doctor. Dr.
Casa's degree is in drinking, bars and
clubs. You got questions...CASA has the
answer...
QUESTION:
I
just found out that a guy I met last
year has had a girlfriend the whole time
I've been seeing him. You can't believe
how F*cking pissed I am. What is the
best way to get back at him?
-
Submitted by Jenn H.
DR. CASA:
Ah...my poor
child. You have unfortunately fallen
into the typical "goumar" role that is
so often portrayed in many mob movies
and television shows such as the
Sopranos. The male species usually has
to have to have as many pieces of ass (POA)
as possible to feel satisfied. Don't
blame him really...it's most likely
genetic. Almost all male species hump
more than one female at a time. As for
your anger, it is well understood. Since
Dr. CASA does not condone any time of
violent behavior, I will show you a more
subtle way at gaining satisfaction. Go
to your local neighborhood pharmacy and
stock up on several different brands of
pregnancy testing devices. Make sure you
throw the wrappers around your apartment
or in your bathroom garbage so that they
are visible when he comes over. If you
want, you may also purchase a blue
permanent marker and mark the test strip
accordingly to indicate that you are
nice and pregnant. When he eventually
confronts you about the pregnancy tests,
start balling uncontrollable and make
sure he doesn't understand a word you
are saying. During your outburst you
might want to interject his best
friend's name and mention the Maury show
or something. Keep him going for a while
on this and make sure he understands
that you are not going to give up the
baby under any circumstances. Enjoy the
show.
QUESTION:
IN
MY EXPERIENCE THIS WEEKEND AT D'JAIS...&
I WAS THERE FRI/SAT & SUN... ALL THE
GUYS THIS SUMMER ARE VERY TOUCHY FEELY.
ITS LIKE EVERY GUY HAS HIS STUD MUFFIN
GOGGLES ON & THINKS HE CAN HAVE HIS WAY
WITH ANY GIRL HE WANTS!! WHAT'S UP WITH
THAT?
-
Submitted by
L.D.
DR. CASA:
This is probably
the result of guys who ingest large
quantities of mood enhancing drugs such
as K (ketomine) or X (ecstasy). These
drugs boost a person's tactile senses
which makes them get touchy-feely. You
might also be dressing too much like a
prostitute which may typically encourage
a guy to grope you. Try dressing like an
Amish girl or that diesel dike Ellen
Degenerate to further reduce your
chances of guys touching you. Last but
not least...it could be the result of
good old fashion booze. If you're
good-looking and the night is still
young, a guy will reach his peak "balls"
stage by his 3rd or 4th drink. This is
when guys usually have enough "balls" to
try and hit on the better looking girls
at a bar or club. If you are grotesque
and the evening is late guys reach their
"coyote ugly" stage usually after 6
drinks. In this instance, the guy is
probably groping you because in his mind
he believes that you really aren't that
nasty and he has nothing to lose since
it is so late in the evening.
QUESTION:
ONE OF MY FRIENDS SENT ME YOUR SITE IN
AN EMAIL. I WAS LOOKING AT SOME OF THE
PICTURES AND I SAW MY BOYFRIEND IN ONE
OF THEM WITH SOME OF HIS FRIENDS AND
SOME GIRLS. HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD TO
WORK ON WEEKENDS THIS SUMMER TO MAKE
EXTRA MONEY SO I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT DAY
THAT PICTURE WAS TAKEN TO SEE IF HE WAS
LYING TO ME.
-
Kept ANONYMOUS
DR. CASA:
I saw the pic that
you are referring to and all I can say
is that CASADRINKA does not like getting
involved in people's personal business.
Dr. CASA though can give you three bits
of advice:
- There are no
boyfriends/girlfriends in the
summer.
- If you
believe that somebody would rather
work summer weekends than party you
should crawl back into that little
door of the Cuckoo clock you live in
and nail it shut.
- That boy got
more booty this summer than I did.
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