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ANATOMY OF A HANGOVER
What the heck is a hangover anyway?
 
A hangover, is caused when you drink beer, wine, or liquor faster than your liver can remove the alcohol it contains out of your blood. All that excess alcohol that is left in your blood stream hangs around to wreak havoc throughout your body.

It takes an average person about one hour to destroy the alcohol that is left in your body after just one drink. If you drink more than 1 drink an hour, you'll start building up excess alcohol in your blood stream. All this excess alcohol has time to travel around your entire body and cause major damage to every cell it visits.

The alcohol destroys your body's electrolytes, dehydrates you of precious bodily fluids, and strips you of all those precious vitamins and minerals that you got from eating your Wheaties for breakfast. Most importantly, alcohol does a nasty little number on that blob of cells under your skull called your BRAIN. Your brain cells take a really good beating from the alcohol in your bloodstream. They start collapsing one at a time until all but a few important ones (like the ones that keep your heart beating and your lungs breathing) remain active. 

Alcohol also seems to have a profound effect on other bodily functions such as urinating, and it also increases your urge for food, more drinks, and sex. In other words, not only does alcohol trash your body, it also makes you piss like a race horse, eat like Oprah, drink like a Kennedy, and stay up all night looking for a piece of ass.

 

REMEDIES


BEFORE DRINKING
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Moderation is the key to preventing a hangover. Although it is less fun, it is also less painful in the long run. If moderation isn't in your future, medical practice suggests that you find ways to coat your stomach. In general, eating before drinking will slow down the absorption of alcohol into your bloodstream. Eating a meal that is high in fatty acids and oils  is preferable. The fats create a nice lining in your stomach which make a tough barrier for the alcohol to penetrate (pizza, anyone?) Another trick is a shot of pink bismuth (Pepto-Bismol) about an hour before drinking. This stuff tastes like liquid chalk but it does a heck of a job coating your stomach without all those extra calories.
 

DURING DRINKING
What you drink can determine how bad your hangover will be the next day. Alcohol by-products called cogeners seem to increase the severity of a hangover. Gin and Vodka have few cogeners and are least likely to produce a hangover. Brandy, champagne and whiskey have high quantities and are more likely to produce a hangover. Red wine can also bring on a hangover because it contains a substance called tyramine which can also cause severe headaches. A general rule of thumb is that lighter, bitter alcohol is "good" and darker, sweeter alcohol is "bad". Also keep in mind that cheap liquors might cause bigger hangovers due to impurities and poor manufacturing. I would definitely stay away from Chernobyl brand Vodka or Chihuahua Tequila. Also, avoid mixing alcohol with carbonated drinks. The bubbles speed the alcohol to your bloodstream accelerating absorption. If you sip carbonated drinks through a straw the absorption rate is even faster.
 

BEFORE BED
This is probably one of the best times to take action against a hangover. The problem is that most people are too wasted to do anything at this point but shove a slice of pizza in their mouth and pass out. If you have the ability, take plenty of vitamins and minerals and drink generous amounts of water before passing out. DO NOT take Tylenol or any other products containing ACETAMINOPHEN when you've been drinking since this combination has been linked to causing liver damage. Aspirin is another bad idea since it is a blood thinner. To be on the safe side, avoid any type of pain relievers when you've been drinking. Save the pain killer for when you'll really need them...the day after. Also, try and stay up as long as possible. Sleeping lowers your body's metabolism significantly. The longer you stay up, the faster your body burns the alcohol. Don't drink coffee or take No Doze to stay awake. Caffeine accelerates alcohol absorption and also speeds up dehydration.
 

AFTER WAKING
If you have taken the necessary precautions, you have done about as much as you can to lessen your hangover. A hangover reaches its peak intensity about 15 hours after you start drinking. This is due in part to the nasty byproducts which your body metabolized from the alcohol that has accumulated in your system. Realistically, you should lie motionless in a dark room, sip water, take some pain killers, and rest. CASADRINKA usually downs a couple of beers, throws on his sunglasses, gets a big breakfast, and gets psyched to do it all over again, but this behavior isn't really conducive for a long and healthy life. Oh well.
 
Recommended Reading Material:
Drink As Much As You Want and Live Longer:
The intelligent Person's Guide to Healthy Drinking
- By Fred Beyerlein, R.D.

CASADRINKA Medicine Chest Stock List: Help your body fight back!

Multivitamin This one is as obvious as your drinking problem. One a day.
Vitamin C 500mg 3 times daily. Taking 1500mg at once don't count.
B-Complex Vitamin 50mg 3 times daily. Split the doses throughout the day.
Glutathione This shit is great. Helps the body kick alcohol's ass.
Lecithin Use with Milk Thistle and Dandelion to scrub your liver clean.
Milk Thistle Great tongue twister. Say it quickly over and over again.
Dandelion Use the supplement, not the weed growing in your garden.
Alpha-Lipoic Acid Not real acid stupid. This antioxidant helps dissolve toxic substances in your liver.


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